Apr 29, 2019
How to effectively approach someone if you feel slighted? Be
sure to state your feelings without blame and what I call character
assassination. And if you want to really tug at their heart
strings, start with an affirmation. For example, “Hey, I love you,
I want to confess I was really hurt by that because I felt like
your response was cold.” Instead of “you are a cold person.” Or
“Hey, I know you care about me but I felt unsupported when you
didn’t show up on time” instead of “you are an unsupportive
person.” Statements of "you are" instead of "I felt" are
interpreted as name calling. Try the "I notice, I think, I feel"
method when addressing conflict. “I noticed you arrived 10 min
late, I think that being on time shows respect, I felt
disrespected.” Compare that to “you clearly don’t respect me” which
is an absolute. Nothing in life is absolute.
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